ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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