Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
this boner is exhausting
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
