i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
