remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
