I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
