The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
