Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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