I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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