And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
