I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
