It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The uberlube is also flammable
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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