Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Randomize
