sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
