I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
