I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
