are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
