saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
