I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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