i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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