I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
