i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize