i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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