My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
