i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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