ugly people sure do ruin things
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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