bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
