Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
