hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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