lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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