Will you blow on my dice?
from now on my penis is your penis
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
