I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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