his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The power of my boobs compel you
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
