If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize