Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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