Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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