If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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