As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
