C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
