He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
