the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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