Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
