Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
