I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize