Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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