That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
