Your tits are I can't wait for
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
