You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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