dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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