I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i came on her dog
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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