I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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