did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
