I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize