I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
