when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i will never coherently bang her
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
