If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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