Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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