Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
