i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
